My turning toward the big sky begins as I drive slowly home on an old, narrow, asphalt road where my tires occasionally dip into ditches. As I glance up, I'm passing by crops alternately planted in rice, cotton, onions, and jowar, a grain whose seeded tips, once ground, are used to make an Indian flatbread called bhakri.
I turn at my dirt lane, and approaching a dried gully automatically turn my wheel to circle around it over flattened grasses—all the while keeping my eyes on the big sky, except for quick glances ahead. Each day, I wonder how I have merited these moments of awe. A home settler among tall trees most of my life, the enormity of this blue, with its varied-shaped clouds traveling across this expanse are often solely mine.
When Stephen Michael Camp* and I met, he had been to The Light Institute in Galisteo, New Mexico established by Chris Griscom, who by then was a globally recognized spiritual healer and teacher. While I had been living with worldly values, Stephen's teaching came in the simplest words as part of the ways of life. Two experiences during our nearly six years together remain fixed in my memory.
One afternoon, he had come to me in anger, and I had listened. When he finished, I made a small comment but primarily showed that I'd heard him. This was obviously not what he'd been expecting, for in quick succession he'd shown surprise, then told me that I was the first woman in his life who when he was angry hadn't been angry back, causing him to then have both of their anger. I felt his gratitude.
During our years attending A Course in Miracles, I'd observed how Stephen stood out. He could listen quietly without inserting himself into conversations, respond clearly when asked to by the leader, and interact comfortably with our differing personalities and stories. He once told me he had figured out that in a roomful of people, when he discovered the particular one who he disliked the most, he knew that person to be his greatest teacher. In writing this, I felt drawn to look back at the two people I still remember disliking (in childhood, and in my twenties). In asking what it was that I might still have to learn, I have discovered the answers.
My realization is, "There is new focus and clarity within us that comes by our turning toward an opportunity of growth, in which our awareness will also be broadened."
* Stephen Michael Camp, composer, guitarist, sound healer in spiritual service. 1943 – 1996.