Photo courtesy of Scott Cramer
When a photo of snowy woods arrived, I'd been surprised by a new thought—I hadn't ever walked in woods in snow.
I put on my insulated jacket, pulled on a cable-knit hat, and thrust my hands into short, thick, white mittens (bought in Nepal) that had a border of one-inch-wide red stripes with small-sized v's like birds startled to flight. The sounds in my woods were soft and low-pitched—of my breathing becoming heavier, of snow being crushed into prints under my boots. Could tiny snaps I heard be darting birds snapping off bush twigs? Tall trees, thin and thinly spaced, stood still, reflected where I paused by open water bound with frozen edges.
About 1997 or ‘98, a period when I was driving from Florida to Connecticut, I stopped one time in Richmond, Virginia and contacted Rev. Dwight Smith of the Spiritual Mind Center of Richmond.* We had met years before. He invited me to a class that he and his wife, Rev. Thelma,* would be teaching that evening. Arriving, I took a seat in an elongated oval of chairs. Vaguely remembering my brief hours with Rev. Dwight, I'd forgotten that he wore a long pony tail, and I was unsure if I'd ever met Rev. Thelma. She wore cowgirl boots; I later learned she wore them all the time. While listening, I'd been enjoying the ministers' uniqueness, when a man brought up a topic for which I immediately leaned forward, peering down the faces to see who it was that had caught my attention.
His heart had been carrying grief* that he could no longer contain. From his learning and growing in the Spiritual Mind Center, he had realized that years before when his father had needed his help, he hadn't known how to give it. But now he did. He was lamenting his failure and his lost opportunity. In a gentle tone that revealed decades of teaching truth by comfort, and intimate awareness, Rev. Dwight explained that we are always doing our best.
While I cannot remember Rev. Dwight's next words, I can imagine him speaking of how the Spiritual Mind Center "encourages an individual's pursuit of holistic balance: mental, physical, and spiritual harmony with themselves and in their interactions with the world."* For the questioner, who had offered himself as out of balance and seeking help, Rev. Dwight had offered his reassurance of a spiritual truth to take home, and for the other listeners there that night, the benefit of shared learning.
As I was following others' tracks through the snow, Rev. Dwight's meaning that night had returned. I had lived with recurrent grief for how I'd behaved one time with my grandmother, and one time with my mother too. Each visit had become etched into metal memory. “What could I have done about it then?” had been my unanswered question. For I hadn't known. In time, as I had matured emotionally, I had become able to see their simple needs clearly—for my grandmother, it was just sitting beside her, rather than cleaning her kitchen cabinet. For my mother, it was her daughter's sympathy spoken aloud as I held her hand a moment while I drove, for today was her wedding anniversary, and my father was questioning his vows.
My realization is, "New learning can help us reach back in time to gain clearer understanding so that we can be better prepared in this moment and the next.”
* For resources on thought, emotion, and feeling visit: www.purely prema.com, "Thought, Emotion, and Feeling Part One," November 4, 2020, and "Thought, Emotion, and Feeling Part Two," January 6, 2021.
* For information on the Spiritual Mind Center, visit: https://www.wrldrels.org/wrr/group.profiles/OtherChurches/SpiritualMindCenter.html
* For information on Reverend Dwight Smith and Reverend Thelma Smith, visit: https://www.unitybonair.org/9am-sunday-service-guest-speaker-reverend-thelma-smith
* Grief is a feeling within the range of feelings of the emotion of Sadness, an emotional state characterized by feelings of disappointment, grief, or hopelessness. Expression: Frown, loss of focus in eyes, tears. Visit: https://online.uwa.edu/infographics/basic-emotions/#:~:text=The%20Six%20Basic%20Emotions&text=They%20include%20sadness%2C%20happiness%2C%20fear,%2C%20anger%2C%20surprise%20and%20disgust.
* https://www.wrldrels.org/wrr/group.profiles/OtherChurches/SpiritualMindCenter.html