This is about an old view that surprised me when it recently appeared—demanding to be written about. At first I said, “insignificant,” but it wouldn’t go away.
I was in my twenties when I began to see that others were “in the work force,” but that I was not. I had discovered I was not capable of having a position in the career I had chosen. It was, in hindsight, a false view to anyone who was life-smart, but I was not.
Fifty years later.
I awake and look across the room to see my computer, on which much of my day is spent writing. The book, A Flower for God, has been interrupted twice since 2003, and each time put away for two years, but from 2010 on has required my continuous effort, guided by my editor.
There’s also a wooden cabinet, where inside are my better clothes for prayer building duty. Each week, for three years, I mentally lined up four different outfits until this last year, when I passed my endurance limit and reduced my duty to two shifts on one day, which allows me to write.
After ten years of teaching spoken English (beginning with one student), I now have four. Early on I used British workbooks that sufficed for grammar. Then I discovered Victory Song, a story of India’s independence written at about the level of a fifth standard reader—perfect in content and excellently written.* Now, inspired by my eager students, I create my own materials and activities to keep learning productive and fun.
Six years ago, at my fiftieth high school reunion, I met classmates who were enjoying retirement; I experienced a small, nagging thought that they had financially earned retirement while I had not—a remnant from my earlier career disillusionment. I had held part-time positions before my late fifties, when at that point, my career-life suddenly blossomed, and I led a writing community then later had an ordained ministry in intuitive counseling. Neither, though, had provided a retirement package. But then I discovered that as a widow, I had benefits that would allow me to follow the direction of a healer and reader who guided me into spiritual service. There is no retirement plan in this work either, but the compensation has been my becoming more of the understanding and giving person that I want to be.
So it was to my surprise that the old phrase of upset popped up (the one that wouldn’t go away); this time I realized that I had always been in the work force and still am.
My realization is, “To remember an old view and see it with matured insight may reveal that a need, seemingly not met, actually had been fulfilled.”
* Victory Song, Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni
I was in my twenties when I began to see that others were “in the work force,” but that I was not. I had discovered I was not capable of having a position in the career I had chosen. It was, in hindsight, a false view to anyone who was life-smart, but I was not.
Fifty years later.
I awake and look across the room to see my computer, on which much of my day is spent writing. The book, A Flower for God, has been interrupted twice since 2003, and each time put away for two years, but from 2010 on has required my continuous effort, guided by my editor.
There’s also a wooden cabinet, where inside are my better clothes for prayer building duty. Each week, for three years, I mentally lined up four different outfits until this last year, when I passed my endurance limit and reduced my duty to two shifts on one day, which allows me to write.
After ten years of teaching spoken English (beginning with one student), I now have four. Early on I used British workbooks that sufficed for grammar. Then I discovered Victory Song, a story of India’s independence written at about the level of a fifth standard reader—perfect in content and excellently written.* Now, inspired by my eager students, I create my own materials and activities to keep learning productive and fun.
Six years ago, at my fiftieth high school reunion, I met classmates who were enjoying retirement; I experienced a small, nagging thought that they had financially earned retirement while I had not—a remnant from my earlier career disillusionment. I had held part-time positions before my late fifties, when at that point, my career-life suddenly blossomed, and I led a writing community then later had an ordained ministry in intuitive counseling. Neither, though, had provided a retirement package. But then I discovered that as a widow, I had benefits that would allow me to follow the direction of a healer and reader who guided me into spiritual service. There is no retirement plan in this work either, but the compensation has been my becoming more of the understanding and giving person that I want to be.
So it was to my surprise that the old phrase of upset popped up (the one that wouldn’t go away); this time I realized that I had always been in the work force and still am.
My realization is, “To remember an old view and see it with matured insight may reveal that a need, seemingly not met, actually had been fulfilled.”
* Victory Song, Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni