This is the fourth of five memoir-in-essays dictated by Guest Writer and International Journalist, Ramarao Malladi (1948 - 2026), and recorded by Prema Camp. Ramarao wrote for the South Asian Tribune.
Vani and I come from different backgrounds. She is from an orthodox Hindu family; I do not follow Hindu traditions, rites, and rituals though I am also a Hindu Brahmin like her. So much so Vani had a difficulty in adjusting herself to a life with me after marriage forty-seven years ago in 1978. We entered into an understanding of sorts. She would follow her faith, visit temples, and offer puja as she liked. On my part, I would not generally accompany her on such visits. She promised not to insist that I should follow her into the temple. I was not averse to visiting temples; in fact, I had visited almost all major temples and other religious places across India as a part of my professional assignments, and occasionally in Vani’s company. I never told her to follow Meher Baba, nor did I explain to her what Meher Baba is. It was my mother who introduced her to Meher Baba by presenting her a small booklet of prayers and arti. Not that Vani was not aware of Meher Baba. During her growing up period, her family used to host bhajan sessions devoted to Meher Baba at Narasaraopet in the Guntur district of Andhra Pradesh, South India, where her father was working at that time. For them, Meher Baba was some spiritual person, not an Avatar. Giving the Baba booklet shortly after our marriage, my mother asked Vani to offer a prayer to Meher Baba also while worshiping other Gods and Goddesses of her choice. (Before becoming a Meher Baba lover, my mother used to worship a different God every day). Vani accompanied me to Meher Baba’s Samadhi, somewhat reluctantly, once in the 1980s and again in the year 1990. The year 1995 marked a turning point in our life. That year, I left my high-profile job as Editor/Correspondent at the state broadcaster, All India Radio, and plunged into mainstream journalism trying my luck as editorial writer and political commentator. By all means, it was a risky adventure for a person with no financial standing and with two children in the early stages of their school education. This phase of uncertainty made Vani search for Gods and Goddesses who could bail out the family. Vani also began to believe that all our troubles were because of my following Meher Baba since I used to tell everyone that with Meher Baba every day is a New Life – a life full of stress wrapped in helplessness and hopelessness. Through friends, she heard about Sai Baba and made regular visits to Shirdi. I used to accompany her to Shirdi, and from there I used to hop into Meherabad with her permission to spend a few hours at the Samadhi; she used to come with me on such trips. These journeys continued for some time with Shirdi as the base camp. Vani even contemplated moving to Shirdi and staying there in an ashram. She even visited some ashrams to have a feel of the living conditions. Around this time, a circular from the Avatar Meher Baba Trust calling for volunteers to work in Meherabad caught Vani’s attention, and she shifted her base to the Hostel-D run by the Trust, and started working as a volunteer. After a few months in the Hostel, she moved to a rented accommodation in the Meher Colony where she finally bought her own house and became a permanent resident of Meherabad in 2005. Thus began a Journey of Service — a new journey for Vani, while endearing herself as Vani aunty to everyone. For some, she was Delhi Vani as we lived in Delhi for close to forty years. For the kids she was the chocolate aunty as she lovingly presented toffees to every kid, she came across in the Samadhi area. Once she accepted Meher Baba, Vani surrendered herself fully at His Lotus Feet, and gave up all her old religious practices. On her initial Shirdi fixation, she used to remark, “Sai Baba pushes you into Meher Baba’s arms once you are ready for the promotion.” My mother, Suseela Krishna, introduced Vani to Mehera, Mani and Eruch during the 1998 Amartithi.1 It was her last visit to Meherabad; she passed away the following year. And Vani began taking three darshans every time she visited the Samadhi saying “my mother-in-law (MIL) advised me.” I used to tease her about these “MIL darshans”. Mandali member, Bhau Kalchuri (author of Lord Meher) guided her, moulded her and helped her experience Baba’s presence at the Samadhi. Prayer for Baba was always on her lips. And “Meher, Meher” became her life-long mantra. It is this habit that made her remember Baba while taking her last breath on the evening of Jan 18, 2025 while listening to Baba Bhajans on the TV at her home. “Baba, Baba, Meher, Meher” were her last words.
1Amartithi: The Eternal Date, the anniversary of the day when Avatar Meher Baba dropped his physical form, is commemorated in a major gathering attended by thousands of visitors to Meherabad from January 30 to February 1 each year.