The Changeable Past

It’s 1960-–a warm day. I’m washing our green and black, two-door Oldsmobile in the driveway. My older boyfriend has invited me to go to a concert on Cape Cod—a date that would keep me out very late. Told by my parents I could make my decision, I’m going. Hose in hand, I watch my dad walk toward me—tall, shoulders back, to tell me I’ve made the wrong decision.

For years, I remembered this example of my parents taking away my decision-making. From an older vantage point, I could see they were appropriately concerned—about traffic, drinking, crowds, driving….

I find parents responsible for how they raise children but not blameworthy if the children’s deeper needs aren’t met; the parents are doing the best they know how. It’s the future job of the children to acquire what is missing.

Told at fifty-three by my spiritual teacher that my “emotional body” was very thin, I understood I was the only one who could change this. At fifty-seven, in my Emotional Health practice as an intuitive counselor, I offered “True Self, Inner Child, Inner Parent” groups. Here, under the protection of a safe and gentle process, I explored my uncomfortable memories—developing an inner protective parent—growing myself up … emotionally.

I was born with a certain karma that was the lifetime lessons I was to have, and there were invisible guides to help me; I had to have certain experiences before consciously raising my emotional quotient (or EQ). I still apply myself to having authentic emotional responses for my ongoing learning.

My realization is, “The past we remember is how we understood it at that time. Applying what we have learned since may awaken intuitive viewpoints that release us from any misunderstandings."