Ethan took Seth crabbing and got a snicker when he said the crabs are married.* Mating crabs are called “doublers.” The girl crab, in her last molt, is vulnerable and protected by the guy crab, who tucks her under him. They swim together until her shell hardens.
In my Inner Child group’s exercise, I’ve drawn a vulnerable inner child and protective parent.* Sketched with a thin, orange marker, I’m two inches tall, and wearing a matching pink and white short set. I have long, brown hair and bangs. My mouth is set and looks unhappy. Beside me, I’m also my protective inner parent, as a giant, taller than the paper, with thick arms and legs, and a big head. My hair is a cap of brown scribbles. My mouth turns down, threatening. My right hand holds a club, as my left arm flexes, ready to hit. My arms and legs have visible brown hair revealed by a short, one-shoulder outfit.
After reading, drawing, and writing about this combination of inner child and parent, I asked us, the group, to share our art. Another man had drawn a giant. “How tall was your father?” I said. Well over six feet, was his wary answer. As was my father.
Can you imagine how tall parents look to a short child? This is from a video demonstration I saw:* One parent lies down on the floor with his or her eyes closed while the other quietly stands on a chair placed near. When the first parent opens his or her eyes, he or she sees the “huge” standing parent as from a child’s view.
My realization is, “As children, we need to rely on being protected until capable of defending ourselves. As adults, matured with that ability, we shield ourselves by an inner self that is awake and alert when we feel threatened.”
*Rising Tide, Nora Roberts.
*Recovery of Your Inner Child, Lucia Capacchione.
*Redirecting Children’s Behavior, video, Kathryn Kvols.