A rudraksha bracelet dangles from my left wrist, its small gathering of red yarn bright against my skin. Meaning the “eyes of Rudra,” or Shiva, a Hindu God, rudraksha dates to the 10th century. Seeds of a large, evergreen, broad-leafed tree become longer strands (malas) for meditation and medical use. What I wear—thirty-four hard, round, brown beads with multiple tiny bumps, shifts across the back of my hand.
Received as a gift, my bracelet lay unworn for years because I didn’t like the color red, even as small as the yarn at the center bead, tied in a small ball while leaving short ends free.
During my thirties, I attended a year-round creative writing workshop and read poetry where I found these words by William Carlos Williams, “A new world is only a new thought.” Everything else in the poem, and even its name, disappeared. At the time, I understood Williams, but not until my late forties would I be emotionally mature enough to start instilling his wisdom into how I lived.
From 2008 until mid-2011, I found my spiritual training harder than everything I’d surrendered to. Then, as sudden as morning sun, my life started to improve with different thoughts and, especially, different small actions.
I took out the rudraksha bracelet and was amazed to find it pleasurable to wear. A dark blue and crystal mala with red yarn, and a badge of Meher Baba encircled by colorful beads were also there. After years of seldom wearing jewelry, I now found comfort in one of these being with me daily.
My realization is, “As we change, so does our world change.”